Read & Write Comedy Stories

Ping!
The sudden noise coming from Amber Williams’ laptop made her jump. It was the sound that signaled to her that one of her friends was trying to reach her on Facebook.
Ping!
Amber ignored the sound, and tried to concentrate on the YouTube video she was watching in the other tab. Not that it was all that hard. This was, after all, a Jonas James

video. Ever since she’d found his channel a year ago, she’d been obsessed with him. And every Friday after school, like clockwork, she would tune in to see his latest video.
Ping!
Now Amber was getting a little annoyed.
Ping! Ping!
OK, make that very annoyed. With a deep sigh, Amber navigated to the Facebook tab she had open. She saw that one of her best ...

"MAGIC GENIE!!!!", the man said. The magic genie then looked down on him from above.

"BRING ME FAME AND FORTUNE!!! I WANT TO LIVE THE LIFE OF A KING! LIVE IN A HOUSE LARGER THAN ANY CASTLE EVER TOLD IN FAIRY TALES!! I WANT GOLD, RICHES, TREASURES, AND MONEY MORE THAN ANY BANK HAS EVER PRINTED!!!", the man demanded.

The genie looked back at him and

said, "Sure. But in exchange, I will ask for something that is of at least equivalent importance to you in life."

"It doesn't matter! I'm homeless! No girls want to marry me because I'm homeless! If I just have a house and piles of money, all the girls who rejected me would come back to me. I would then reject them for the line of celebrities and pretty girl...

Smoke builds in my lungs to curl out from under my lips. ‘Hold me in your arms, please. I want to feel secure in my life. I smoke weed/dabs to feel secure in the notion that I have access to utter peace instantly’. Breathe in. ‘Warm’, Ruth thought, falling back onto the bed. ‘What must I do to fill this insatiable emptiness within me. I feel it.

The smoke burns out the badness and ejects it from my body in a large fluff floating from my body into free space. It feels me, but does not love me in return’. 5 seconds left. Breathe out....

(1)

The happy family is not what you think it is. You may see a family smiling through all the hardships or perhaps even in the smallest thing. But what makes a family, not a family?
The seconds of not giving your trust or the time you lost your inspiration towards them. Some thoughts may be a little too much for us to

think, especially in these small complicated situations. It's funny when i was asked '' Family or Friend? '' I was in 11th grade that time when my English teacher raised her question towards me. Everyone looked confused and started to think about what their answer would be. I was shocked by my own withdrawal of answers. ''Family'' is what my lips uttered. I w...

I threw my bag on the cold kitchen floor and ran towards my room. She was there, peacefully sleeping. My t-shirt a little too big for her kissed each and every curve of hers. Her short brown hair contrasted perfectly with her pale and fragile skin. I often wonder if every cell in her body knows that they have done something flawed yet so perfect. I know

absolutely everything there is to know about this girl, from the stretch marks running on the inside of her thighs to the way she nibbles her tongue when she is stressed. She could be in the same room as the most precious stones on this Earth and I'm sure my eyes would be stuck on her. We are so different, but at the same time so identical.

The clouds covered...

Dean feels so alive!! He is jogging to release some of the energy, so that he could sleep.

All his hard work is finally paying off. His father will finally stop making him feel like a loser. Maybe? Probably not. He really doesn't know why his father is so mad at him.

Okay maybe he did. His father let it slip once and told him that he's the one who

should have died and not his mother. His father loved his mom so much and Dean killed her.

His steps faltered when he heard something. No one is around. He's sure he heard someone crying.

Maybe it is just in his imagination. He really needs to rest. Now that he closed the deal, he can take a couple of days off. He started to walk to his house when he he...

Looking out the window, the building changes to trees as I go nearer to my destination.

I'm still not sure if I want to go back to our house. It has a lot of memories that I'm trying hard not to remember.

I don't want to go back but I promised my best friend that I'll be there for his birthday. I don't like breaking promises and Spencer used that

against me. I also want to see him because I'm missing him badly.

Our story is a typical one where the girl falls for the wingman. We became best friends instead of being together. Mainly my choice but he still keeps on asking if he can court me. I don't think I am ready for a relationship even if it is with him. Especially with him. I'm too afraid to loose ...

Melody tottled down the crowded sidewalk in her four inch stilettos, self consciously tugging and pulling at her skin tight sweater mini dress. The chill of the October night reminded her of her regret for her scantily clad attire. She kept her eyes to the ground, experiencing a full range of emotions, but especially embarrassment, and anxiety about the

potential to trip over broken cement. Mumbling under her breath, she began listing the ways she disappointed herself for going out this night.
It was the last time she would take fashion advice from her roommate, and the only time she would be set up on a date. Her roommate's idea of finding a suitable mate was primarily based on superficial traits like: Greek...

Scarlet's tears started to fall. She is staring at a couple happily eating at a restaurant. She started to walking toward them.

"W-who is she? Y-you said you cannot come to my apartment because you're too busy." She cannot stop her voice from trembling.

The couple looked at her with a shocked expression. The guy opened his mouth and close it again as

if he changed his mind. His forehead wrinkled and she was sure that he is thinking fast. Maybe he is thinking of a way out? She doesn't care anymore.

"You were so happy yesterday when I told you that I was pregnant and now this?" Scarlet said before the guy can think of somethink to say.

She saw when his expression changed from confusion to anger. She ...

"You are the boss. Why do I need to be here?" I wanted to kick the gorgeous man in front me. "And why do you have to fire people?"

Marcus just smirked. Realization dawned on me. I settled into the chair

"You just said that to make me come here didn't you?" I accused him. I'm still debating if it is worth it to kill him. He is ruining my life!

"I

need you here Sam." He walked to the door and closed it. I left it open so that I can escape immediately. "Why are you at home?"

I just gaped at him. He really is a moron!

"You approved my leave, you idiot! I need a vacation."

"But.." he looked confused. "but we just got back from the beach."

"Correction, we just got back from a seminar that happen...

"What the hell Andrea!?"

Andrea grimaced when she heard her father's booming voice. She knows why he is in her room in.. she looked at her alarm clock and groaned. It is too early!

"It's not my fault. I was just trying to help Fiona from that jerk" She said sleepily and embraced her pillow.

Her head is still throbbing from all the alcohol that she

stupidly consumed the night before.

"Get up young lady. We need to talk!"

She knew her parents will find out what happened but she didn't anticipated that they will find out this fast.

"Can we please do this later, Dad?" I tried to make my voice as sweet as possible. "My head is throbbing." Her Dad spoils her and she knows that she can get away wi...

It was a breezy midsummers day. The sky was clear and the air warm. It was unusual for rain on a day like this, but thunder rumbled in the distance.

"Mama, we gonna get rain?" my son asked me.

"I don't know, sugar, it sure sounds like it." I replied, stroking his hair.

We both sat on the porch swing looking out into the open dessert. Our small town

was just one in a line of towns dotted across Arizona. We weren't settling here of course. We would stay just long enough for my husband to come back with some gold from California. We would be rich soon, and not have to ever go back to Virginia. Maybe we would stay on the west coast and live in a city. At least that's what I was supposed to believe.

I f...

Harvey bent slowly and stared at the red button. His ears were registering the buzz of the still alive engine located under the floor.

One push of the red button and the engine would unleash its conserved power and shoot Harvey and the capsule up in the lovely blue and inviting sunny skies.
Harvey touched the button gently with his forefinger which the

twenty years of ocean climate had turned into a skin-clad sickle.

The finger tip was slightly red. The result of the regular push-not-push exercise he had been enjoying for quite some time, including now. Harvey did not press the button. He did not break his routine.

Instead, he just giggled, trying to keep it down. Who would care really? There wasnâ€...

Jae slams a piece of paper down on the table. York, previously happily and blissfully in dreamland, startles with a disgruntled snort. He opens his mouth to let out a string of curses and disrupt the peacefulness of the library, but Jae beats him to it.

"This is the perfect opportunity for you!" Jae tells him, emphasizing the word "perfect" as if

declaring his true love. Despite exclaiming in a hushed whisper, he still earns death glares from the other students who are trying to study for exams.

"What," York mutters flatly.

"You're a broke and single drama major. Getting paid to pretend to be someone's boyfriend is the perfect break." Again with the emphasis on "perfect," paired with a cheeky grin an...

One day, Hans's mother said,

"Where are you going, Hans?"

Hans answered,

"To Grethel's, mother."

"Manage well, Hans."

"All right! Good-bye, mother."

"Good-bye, Hans."

Then Hans came to Grethel's.

"Good morning, Grethel."

"Good morning, Hans. What have you brought me to-day?"

"I have brought nothing, but I want something."

So

Grethel gave Hans a needle; and then he said,

"Good-bye, Grethel," and she said, "Good-bye, Hans."

Hans carried the needle away with him, and stuck it in a hay-cart that was going along, and he followed it home.

"Good evening, mother."

"Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?"

"To Grethel's, mother."

"What did you take her?"

"I took not...

There was once an ass whose master had made him carry sacks to the mill for many a long year, but whose strength began at last to fail, so that each day as it came found him less capable of work. Then his master began to think of turning him out, but the ass, guessing that something was in the wind that boded him no good, ran away, taking the road to Bremen;

for there he thought he might get an engagement as town musician. When he had gone a little way he found a hound lying by the side of the road panting, as if he had run a long way.

"Now, Holdfast, what are you so out of breath about?" said the ass.

"Oh dear!" said the dog, "now I am old, I get weaker every day, and can do no good in the hunt, so, as m...