Read & Write Comedy Stories

Kickoff

Cigarette Smoke

Girl with a bad past and a hatred for human touch

November 5th, 2019 by Helplesslittledog
Helplesslittledog
Preview X Read more
Quin let out a breath, watching the smoke flow up and blend into the sky. Her blue-black hair swayed in the wind as her arms became riddled with goosebumps.

"Quin! Over here!" Quin's cold, brown eyes caught sight of Leah, her best friend since kindergarten, jogging towards her with her frail hand waving through the air. Quin let out a final breath of
smoke and slammed her cigarette into the ground.

When Leah slowed down, she bent down and placed her hands on her knees, her chest heaving.

"Leah," Quin waited till she had the red heads attention before she continued, "you're on the track team. How are you out of breath already?" There was a hint of a snicker in Quin's voice.

"Shut up," Leah g...
Kickoff

When we were us

May's diary entries regarding her and Finn's story

October 24th, 2019 by ErigizzyE13
ErigizzyE13
Preview X Read more
So, erm, yeah, hi. I've never written a diary before so I don't know where to start. I don't really want to begin by saying dear diary. That's too cliche. Besides, that implies that there's a reader at the other end of this and it would kill me if anybody found and read this. Ugh, I really don't want to do this. I'm no writer. The only reason I'm even doing
this is because Dora, my best friend since high school ( who is a constant diary writer) told me keeping a diary would help me figure my feelings out. If I'm anything right now, I'm confused about my feelings for Finn. I've tried everything and nothing has worked out so far. So why not give this a try? Again, it would kill me if anybody found out. I'm a very...
Kickoff

The Fan

The Fan

September 29th, 2019 by missastenkathleen
missastenkathleen
Preview X Read more
Ping!
The sudden noise coming from Amber Williams’ laptop made her jump. It was the sound that signaled to her that one of her friends was trying to reach her on Facebook.
Ping!
Amber ignored the sound, and tried to concentrate on the YouTube video she was watching in the other tab. Not that it was all that hard. This was, after all, a Jonas James
video. Ever since she’d found his channel a year ago, she’d been obsessed with him. And every Friday after school, like clockwork, she would tune in to see his latest video.
Ping!
Now Amber was getting a little annoyed.
Ping! Ping!
OK, make that very annoyed. With a deep sigh, Amber navigated to the Facebook tab she had open. She saw that one of her best ...
Kickoff

The Magic Genie

Improv

September 2nd, 2019 by devandelfano
devandelfano
Preview X Read more
"MAGIC GENIE!!!!", the man said. The magic genie then looked down on him from above.

"BRING ME FAME AND FORTUNE!!! I WANT TO LIVE THE LIFE OF A KING! LIVE IN A HOUSE LARGER THAN ANY CASTLE EVER TOLD IN FAIRY TALES!! I WANT GOLD, RICHES, TREASURES, AND MONEY MORE THAN ANY BANK HAS EVER PRINTED!!!", the man demanded.

The genie looked back at him and
said, "Sure. But in exchange, I will ask for something that is of at least equivalent importance to you in life."

"It doesn't matter! I'm homeless! No girls want to marry me because I'm homeless! If I just have a house and piles of money, all the girls who rejected me would come back to me. I would then reject them for the line of celebrities and pretty girl...
Kickoff

Breathing

Why I Need To Stop Smoking and Start Living

Smoke builds in my lungs to curl out from under my lips. ‘Hold me in your arms, please. I want to feel secure in my life. I smoke weed/dabs to feel secure in the notion that I have access to utter peace instantly’. Breathe in. ‘Warm’, Ruth thought, falling back onto the bed. ‘What must I do to fill this insatiable emptiness within me. I feel it.
The smoke burns out the badness and ejects it from my body in a large fluff floating from my body into free space. It feels me, but does not love me in return’. 5 seconds left. Breathe out....
Kickoff

The Reality.

People often live a world filled with expectations

June 24th, 2019 by TheTypeWriter21
No profile picture available
Preview X Read more
(1)

The happy family is not what you think it is. You may see a family smiling through all the hardships or perhaps even in the smallest thing. But what makes a family, not a family?
The seconds of not giving your trust or the time you lost your inspiration towards them. Some thoughts may be a little too much for us to
think, especially in these small complicated situations. It's funny when i was asked '' Family or Friend? '' I was in 11th grade that time when my English teacher raised her question towards me. Everyone looked confused and started to think about what their answer would be. I was shocked by my own withdrawal of answers. ''Family'' is what my lips uttered. I w...
Kickoff

On The First Night

On the first night I fell for a girl

March 4th, 2019 by a_ryyyy
No profile picture available
Preview X Read more
I threw my bag on the cold kitchen floor and ran towards my room. She was there, peacefully sleeping. My t-shirt a little too big for her kissed each and every curve of hers. Her short brown hair contrasted perfectly with her pale and fragile skin. I often wonder if every cell in her body knows that they have done something flawed yet so perfect. I know
absolutely everything there is to know about this girl, from the stretch marks running on the inside of her thighs to the way she nibbles her tongue when she is stressed. She could be in the same room as the most precious stones on this Earth and I'm sure my eyes would be stuck on her. We are so different, but at the same time so identical.

The clouds covered...
Kickoff

Boring Old Me

To have an adventure. To have fun and to love.

September 30th, 2017 by Rachel
Rachel
Preview X Read more
Dean feels so alive!! He is jogging to release some of the energy, so that he could sleep.

All his hard work is finally paying off. His father will finally stop making him feel like a loser. Maybe? Probably not. He really doesn't know why his father is so mad at him.

Okay maybe he did. His father let it slip once and told him that he's the one who
should have died and not his mother. His father loved his mom so much and Dean killed her.

His steps faltered when he heard something. No one is around. He's sure he heard someone crying.

Maybe it is just in his imagination. He really needs to rest. Now that he closed the deal, he can take a couple of days off. He started to walk to his house when he he...
Kickoff

Running Towards You

Hoping that it's not too late

August 22nd, 2017 by Rachel
Rachel
Preview X Read more
Looking out the window, the building changes to trees as I go nearer to my destination.

I'm still not sure if I want to go back to our house. It has a lot of memories that I'm trying hard not to remember.

I don't want to go back but I promised my best friend that I'll be there for his birthday. I don't like breaking promises and Spencer used that
against me. I also want to see him because I'm missing him badly.

Our story is a typical one where the girl falls for the wingman. We became best friends instead of being together. Mainly my choice but he still keeps on asking if he can court me. I don't think I am ready for a relationship even if it is with him. Especially with him. I'm too afraid to loose ...
Kickoff

The Walk of Fate

Head Over Heels

August 1st, 2017 by Priscilla Davis
Priscilla Davis
Preview X Read more
Melody tottled down the crowded sidewalk in her four inch stilettos, self consciously tugging and pulling at her skin tight sweater mini dress. The chill of the October night reminded her of her regret for her scantily clad attire. She kept her eyes to the ground, experiencing a full range of emotions, but especially embarrassment, and anxiety about the
potential to trip over broken cement. Mumbling under her breath, she began listing the ways she disappointed herself for going out this night.
It was the last time she would take fashion advice from her roommate, and the only time she would be set up on a date. Her roommate's idea of finding a suitable mate was primarily based on superficial traits like: Greek...
Kickoff

Sorry not sorry

Everybody makes mistakes that we will never forget

August 1st, 2017 by Rachel
Rachel
Preview X Read more
Scarlet's tears started to fall. She is staring at a couple happily eating at a restaurant. She started to walking toward them.

"W-who is she? Y-you said you cannot come to my apartment because you're too busy." She cannot stop her voice from trembling.

The couple looked at her with a shocked expression. The guy opened his mouth and close it again as
if he changed his mind. His forehead wrinkled and she was sure that he is thinking fast. Maybe he is thinking of a way out? She doesn't care anymore.

"You were so happy yesterday when I told you that I was pregnant and now this?" Scarlet said before the guy can think of somethink to say.

She saw when his expression changed from confusion to anger. She ...
Kickoff

Stop, Look and Listen

When you find another one. Who is THE one?

June 26th, 2017 by Rachel
Rachel
Preview X Read more
"You are the boss. Why do I need to be here?" I wanted to kick the gorgeous man in front me. "And why do you have to fire people?"

Marcus just smirked. Realization dawned on me. I settled into the chair

"You just said that to make me come here didn't you?" I accused him. I'm still debating if it is worth it to kill him. He is ruining my life!

"I
need you here Sam." He walked to the door and closed it. I left it open so that I can escape immediately. "Why are you at home?"

I just gaped at him. He really is a moron!

"You approved my leave, you idiot! I need a vacation."

"But.." he looked confused. "but we just got back from the beach."

"Correction, we just got back from a seminar that happen...
Kickoff

Her Deepest Wish

A brat that can't have what she really wants

June 11th, 2017 by Rachel
Rachel
Preview X Read more
"What the hell Andrea!?"

Andrea grimaced when she heard her father's booming voice. She knows why he is in her room in.. she looked at her alarm clock and groaned. It is too early!

"It's not my fault. I was just trying to help Fiona from that jerk" She said sleepily and embraced her pillow.

Her head is still throbbing from all the alcohol that she
stupidly consumed the night before.

"Get up young lady. We need to talk!"

She knew her parents will find out what happened but she didn't anticipated that they will find out this fast.

"Can we please do this later, Dad?" I tried to make my voice as sweet as possible. "My head is throbbing." Her Dad spoils her and she knows that she can get away wi...
Kickoff

Run For Your Life

They lived, but can they keep it a secret?

May 26th, 2017 by Ashmlin11
No profile picture available
Preview X Read more
It was a breezy midsummers day. The sky was clear and the air warm. It was unusual for rain on a day like this, but thunder rumbled in the distance.

"Mama, we gonna get rain?" my son asked me.

"I don't know, sugar, it sure sounds like it." I replied, stroking his hair.

We both sat on the porch swing looking out into the open dessert. Our small town
was just one in a line of towns dotted across Arizona. We weren't settling here of course. We would stay just long enough for my husband to come back with some gold from California. We would be rich soon, and not have to ever go back to Virginia. Maybe we would stay on the west coast and live in a city. At least that's what I was supposed to believe.

I f...
Kickoff

Harvey

He so didn't want to press that button

May 4th, 2017 by Borough
Borough
Preview X Read more
Harvey bent slowly and stared at the red button. His ears were registering the buzz of the still alive engine located under the floor.

One push of the red button and the engine would unleash its conserved power and shoot Harvey and the capsule up in the lovely blue and inviting sunny skies.
Harvey touched the button gently with his forefinger which the
twenty years of ocean climate had turned into a skin-clad sickle.

The finger tip was slightly red. The result of the regular push-not-push exercise he had been enjoying for quite some time, including now. Harvey did not press the button. He did not break his routine.

Instead, he just giggled, trying to keep it down. Who would care really? There wasn...
Kickoff

RENT-A-BOYFRIEND

In search of a date for the holidays

April 15th, 2017 by fefedove
fefedove
Preview X Read more
Jae slams a piece of paper down on the table. York, previously happily and blissfully in dreamland, startles with a disgruntled snort. He opens his mouth to let out a string of curses and disrupt the peacefulness of the library, but Jae beats him to it.

"This is the perfect opportunity for you!" Jae tells him, emphasizing the word "perfect" as if
declaring his true love. Despite exclaiming in a hushed whisper, he still earns death glares from the other students who are trying to study for exams.

"What," York mutters flatly.

"You're a broke and single drama major. Getting paid to pretend to be someone's boyfriend is the perfect break." Again with the emphasis on "perfect," paired with a cheeky grin an...
Scroll down to load more results.
Loading more results.
There are no more results to be loaded.