Read & Write Comedy Stories

I’m Elizabeth (Lizzie), and on the surface I’m an average 8th grade school girl, but really that couldn’t be farther than true. I guess you could say I’m surrounded by crazy people and my boyfriend ,David, is no exception. “Lizzie.” A sturdy palm connects with my back. “Ah!” I gasp as my back tenses up. “Heh, you got me.” I sighed

relieved that it was only David. “You know it!” He exclaimed flirtatiously. “I-I don’t even know what to do with you…” I muster too far gone to even expect anything less from him. “Have you seen my search history?” He got me, using such a powerful move against me? How can I fight back?
More people fill the hall as I start my walk to the cafe...

Sat perched upon his spot. His place. He thinks to himself, why? He doesn’t understand why his happened.
Did he do this? Did every step he take lead up to this? This isn’t my fault. He repeats this in his head.
Like a mantra. Over and over. Because he needs to remember the truth. His truth. He forgets a lot.
His mind tends to go from one thing to

another very fast. He didn’t see anything. Just heard the noise.
Who’s fault is this? He thinks. He must think harder. Go over the facts. Go through his memory of the actions leading unto this point. He has a small amount of time before they find him. He just wants to go over things in his head.
So when he does tell them he’ll say it in the right wa...

previously: a strange object flew down from the sky interrupting the 10 player smash with jenny wakeman, the masked kid from under hero, niko from oneshot, sash lilac, sans the skeleton, bob the garo, snatcher the soul stealing phantom, nights the nightmaronn, kayna the fire element singing monster, and the villainous crow. The thing that was flying in the

clouds was none other than the space ship of the villain from over the yonder: lord dominator.
"greetings" she said making everyone freeze in their tracks, "halt" said a spear welding fish monster known as undyne, "I know exactly who you are dominator, I won't let you hurt anyone here." dominator laughed and stated "if I wanted to hurt anyone I would have d...

I go down the stairs and see my mama making tortillas I smile at her while she makes them. The smell of the burning edges just the way I like them. No one else wants the edges burnt like I do. She turns and looks at me, and I can feel all her love feel my whole soul. She opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I got her to touch her, and she fades

away into ashes.

“Mama, please don’t leave me. Mamá no me deje. ¡Por favor!” I scream out, crying. I hear a voice in the distant.

“Marco, Marco, wake up, Hijo, you’re dreaming.” The voice says I open my wet eyes up, and I’m lying the back seat of our SUV and look at the face of my father. He has his tears streaming down. “I miss mama ...

Every time when we were together in bed, he asked me what was our relationship. I wanted to say to him that I liked him very much and have fallen in love with him but I could not say, though once accidentally I spilled my secret. We met when he came to me asking whether we could compare our assignment, I was not done with the assignment so I replied I am not

done yet. Next time he came to me asking about the lecture that he was absent in, but look at the play of the time, I was also absent in the same class. I had a lot of things in my mind going on so when he asked for my number I was not bothered I just placed my cell phone in front of the table and started working on my laptop. At first impression, he looked...

the co workers for smash ultra were getting ready for the day, who were: frank the fox, a black fox who wore a blue hoodie, grey pants, and had blue spots on his head and had the tip of his tail blue, flowey, who was reborn as the firsy two souled monster (don't worry the human soul shaped like a flower was artificial and his monster soul grew back so he

could feel emotions) who look just like omega flowey except he had legs and a tail, and shadow riolu who was the guy no one liked. he was a dark blue cat who had a yellow collor with a pokeball on it and a g virus eye, frank got up and decided to get his friend flowey, "morning flowey" frank said.
"morning frank" flowey replied. "i was gonna go down stair a...

Scarlet's tears started to fall. She is staring at a couple happily eating at a restaurant. She started to walking toward them.

"W-who is she? Y-you said you cannot come to my apartment because you're too busy." She cannot stop her voice from trembling.

The couple looked at her with a shocked expression. The guy opened his mouth and close it again as

if he changed his mind. His forehead wrinkled and she was sure that he is thinking fast. Maybe he is thinking of a way out? She doesn't care anymore.

"You were so happy yesterday when I told you that I was pregnant and now this?" Scarlet said before the guy can think of somethink to say.

She saw when his expression changed from confusion to anger. She ...

Quin let out a breath, watching the smoke flow up and blend into the sky. Her blue-black hair swayed in the wind as her arms became riddled with goosebumps.

"Quin! Over here!" Quin's cold, brown eyes caught sight of Leah, her best friend since kindergarten, jogging towards her with her frail hand waving through the air. Quin let out a final breath of

smoke and slammed her cigarette into the ground.

When Leah slowed down, she bent down and placed her hands on her knees, her chest heaving.

"Leah," Quin waited till she had the red heads attention before she continued, "you're on the track team. How are you out of breath already?" There was a hint of a snicker in Quin's voice.

"Shut up," Leah g...

So, erm, yeah, hi. I've never written a diary before so I don't know where to start. I don't really want to begin by saying dear diary. That's too cliche. Besides, that implies that there's a reader at the other end of this and it would kill me if anybody found and read this. Ugh, I really don't want to do this. I'm no writer. The only reason I'm even doing

this is because Dora, my best friend since high school ( who is a constant diary writer) told me keeping a diary would help me figure my feelings out. If I'm anything right now, I'm confused about my feelings for Finn. I've tried everything and nothing has worked out so far. So why not give this a try? Again, it would kill me if anybody found out. I'm a very...

Ping!
The sudden noise coming from Amber Williams’ laptop made her jump. It was the sound that signaled to her that one of her friends was trying to reach her on Facebook.
Ping!
Amber ignored the sound, and tried to concentrate on the YouTube video she was watching in the other tab. Not that it was all that hard. This was, after all, a Jonas James

video. Ever since she’d found his channel a year ago, she’d been obsessed with him. And every Friday after school, like clockwork, she would tune in to see his latest video.
Ping!
Now Amber was getting a little annoyed.
Ping! Ping!
OK, make that very annoyed. With a deep sigh, Amber navigated to the Facebook tab she had open. She saw that one of her best ...

"MAGIC GENIE!!!!", the man said. The magic genie then looked down on him from above.

"BRING ME FAME AND FORTUNE!!! I WANT TO LIVE THE LIFE OF A KING! LIVE IN A HOUSE LARGER THAN ANY CASTLE EVER TOLD IN FAIRY TALES!! I WANT GOLD, RICHES, TREASURES, AND MONEY MORE THAN ANY BANK HAS EVER PRINTED!!!", the man demanded.

The genie looked back at him and

said, "Sure. But in exchange, I will ask for something that is of at least equivalent importance to you in life."

"It doesn't matter! I'm homeless! No girls want to marry me because I'm homeless! If I just have a house and piles of money, all the girls who rejected me would come back to me. I would then reject them for the line of celebrities and pretty girl...

Smoke builds in my lungs to curl out from under my lips. ‘Hold me in your arms, please. I want to feel secure in my life. I smoke weed/dabs to feel secure in the notion that I have access to utter peace instantly’. Breathe in. ‘Warm’, Ruth thought, falling back onto the bed. ‘What must I do to fill this insatiable emptiness within me. I feel it.

The smoke burns out the badness and ejects it from my body in a large fluff floating from my body into free space. It feels me, but does not love me in return’. 5 seconds left. Breathe out....

(1)

The happy family is not what you think it is. You may see a family smiling through all the hardships or perhaps even in the smallest thing. But what makes a family, not a family?
The seconds of not giving your trust or the time you lost your inspiration towards them. Some thoughts may be a little too much for us to

think, especially in these small complicated situations. It's funny when i was asked '' Family or Friend? '' I was in 11th grade that time when my English teacher raised her question towards me. Everyone looked confused and started to think about what their answer would be. I was shocked by my own withdrawal of answers. ''Family'' is what my lips uttered. I w...

I threw my bag on the cold kitchen floor and ran towards my room. She was there, peacefully sleeping. My t-shirt a little too big for her kissed each and every curve of hers. Her short brown hair contrasted perfectly with her pale and fragile skin. I often wonder if every cell in her body knows that they have done something flawed yet so perfect. I know

absolutely everything there is to know about this girl, from the stretch marks running on the inside of her thighs to the way she nibbles her tongue when she is stressed. She could be in the same room as the most precious stones on this Earth and I'm sure my eyes would be stuck on her. We are so different, but at the same time so identical.

The clouds covered...

Dean feels so alive!! He is jogging to release some of the energy, so that he could sleep.

All his hard work is finally paying off. His father will finally stop making him feel like a loser. Maybe? Probably not. He really doesn't know why his father is so mad at him.

Okay maybe he did. His father let it slip once and told him that he's the one who

should have died and not his mother. His father loved his mom so much and Dean killed her.

His steps faltered when he heard something. No one is around. He's sure he heard someone crying.

Maybe it is just in his imagination. He really needs to rest. Now that he closed the deal, he can take a couple of days off. He started to walk to his house when he he...

Looking out the window, the building changes to trees as I go nearer to my destination.

I'm still not sure if I want to go back to our house. It has a lot of memories that I'm trying hard not to remember.

I don't want to go back but I promised my best friend that I'll be there for his birthday. I don't like breaking promises and Spencer used that

against me. I also want to see him because I'm missing him badly.

Our story is a typical one where the girl falls for the wingman. We became best friends instead of being together. Mainly my choice but he still keeps on asking if he can court me. I don't think I am ready for a relationship even if it is with him. Especially with him. I'm too afraid to loose ...