When we were us

So, erm, yeah, hi. I've never written a diary before so I don't know where to start. I don't really want to begin by saying dear diary. That's too cliche. Besides, that implies that there's a reader at the other end of this and it would kill me if anybody found and read this. Ugh, I really don't want to do this. I'm no writer. The only reason I'm even doing this is because Dora, my best friend since high school ( who is a constant diary writer) told me keeping a diary would help me figure my feelings out. If I'm anything right now, I'm confused about my feelings for Finn. I've tried everything and nothing has worked out so far. So why not give this a try?
I'm a very pragmatic person. I've had my goals and ambitions set in stone since I was three. A boy has never been in the big picture. Finn is...well, Finn has made me feel things I've never felt nor had I planned on feeling. I'm planning on bearing all of my emotions here

no matter how embarrassed I am of having them. So, here it goes.

I love Finn.The only fitting word to describe my love for him is desperate. I love him desperately, I have loved him from the moment I set my eyes on him. Yes, ours was love at first-sight. And yes, we were the couple my friends looked up to (or rolled their eyes at). And yes, we were the couple everybody expected would last forever. I had his name tatted on me for God's sake! And I had his engagement ring on my finger. And yes, I was about to break up with him.

So, yes, I'm very confused right now and writing my feelings down honestly (ugh) is supposed to help me make a decision. Do I return the ring? Or do I marry Finn?

Dora said I should write down everything that has happened between Finn and I and that, that will give me perspective on things. Hm, I'm not sure but it's not like I have any other option. So dear diary... damn it, I said it!

This isn't really a diary. This is more like a story, the story of us, the story of May and Finn.