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Book written by joriemarauthor

Making Lemonade

"They say life is tough, but baby, so are you." •

"Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat."






May 2017

Life completely shattered me in ways I can not explain. The muscles on my legs, arms, and abdomen spasm and fidget as I desperately gasp for oxygen. My lungs no longer have the endurance and strength to do so. I run my fragile and brittle finger nails down my soaking wet face as the pulsating of my heart increases.

I am alone in my small living room, light prohibited from entering and knees pressed against the cold porcelain tile. My insides ache profoundly and I can no longer withstand the agony of this soul piercing torture. I weep with all of my might until my being is completely dry from within, leaving me casket ready. The man I vowed myself to for nearly 4 years, the man I adorned with my unconditional love, the man I kept protected inside of my chest as it occupied every square inch of my heart has left. He left with
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my heart in his hands, never looking behind. Worst part of everything is, I let him walk away. My tears plead for saving and my hands crave his touch, but life has managed to humiliate me, slap me across the face and say,

"You thought this was a happily ever after?"

With crumbled photographs of all the years spent together in my hand, I rest those never ending memories of love against my hollow chest in aspiration of filling this deep void back up.

If only I had another way. He would be in my arms, caressing my body with his warmth. I never intended for this to happen, but life has managed to part our ways into two destinations different from each other's. Now all I can do, as I patiently wait for my wounds to heal, is relive the most happiest days of my life through the remaining broken pieces of our love.

---

8 YEARS BEFORE

May 2009

Jayson and I walk hand in hand across the large evergreen football field where many students from Lockwood High gathered before the game. The entire
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school had been anxious and overwhelmed with the growing anticipation for tonight's showdown between the two school forces. It was detrimental for the reputation of this school, and it was a crucial moment for Jayson's future as well. He had played football all four years in high school as the quarterback and tonight he had to showcase his skills for a scholarship consideration and college admission. For months he had been tirelessly practicing every day after school, sticking to a strict diet, and focusing on the game from sunrise to sunset all in efforts of making an ever lasting impression. I witnessed the stress overflow through his emerald eyes. I did my best at encouraging him, supporting him and just being his rock in everything he aspired to do. I knew all about his wild dreams and always found inspiration whenever he would sit with me on a fresh Saturday night outside on my porch and talked endlessly about his dreams, our dreams. He is most ambitious person I have ever met.

Jayson
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and I were "high school sweethearts" or so everyone said. We became a couple after the first month of our freshman year back in 2005. I remember the looks he shot at me whenever he could during english class. His determination in trying to get me to speak was so intriguing and I soon gave in. I gave into his charm and persona without realizing. It was never in my plans to fall in love so early in my high school journey, but I did, as well as him. I was the shy girl who rarely maintained a decent conversation after 5 minutes. That is, of course, until I met Jayson. He came into my life and brought out a side of me I never believed existed. He nurtured my heart in a way that allowed me to grow gracefully. Ever since that first week in english, we became very good friends, the establishment of a pure and sincere relationship was born. It was only a matter of weeks until he asked me to be his girlfriend as we ate chips at the park underneath a large oak tree on a Tuesday afternoon.
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