Kickoff written by Badassgirl

Non relationship Love.

A flower that I killed before it bloomed.

Every time when we were together in bed, he asked me what was our relationship. I wanted to say to him that I liked him very much and have fallen in love with him but I could not say, though once accidentally I spilled my secret. We met when he came to me asking whether we could compare our assignment, I was not done with the assignment so I replied I am not done yet. Next time he came to me asking about the lecture that he was absent in, but look at the play of the time, I was also absent in the same class. I had a lot of things in my mind going on so when he asked for my number I was not bothered I just placed my cell phone in front of the table and started working on my laptop. At first impression, he looked kind of like a terrorist to me. I don't know, he had a lot of hand jewelry and his beard and eyes. The next day, ring..ring... I have a message from an unknown number, I was scared though I looked into it.. it was from him. He again asked to compare the assignments. I thought he
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had no friends so he wants to compare it with me. I will tell about this part later though.

I was in so much work stress but I don't know why I said yes yet I did not want to meet him. The day we had to meet I instantly did not like him. I hate jewelry, and especially the ones he wears. So, we finally went to the central library. I had a lot of tasks to do. He was already done with his assignments but his handwriting...I never said to him though...was horrible. But that day when I talked to him, I felt that I had got a stupid friend who will be by my side. I was not quite sure though whether I wanted to be friends with him or not. We returned late from the library.

With each day passing, I started to like his stupidity, in fact, enjoy his stupidity, cause I have only seen the smart people in my life in my field. I should say whether the time had planned something for me or it was a horrible yet sweet coincidence to meet him. Stupidity doesn't define him as a dumb person though. He
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is a smart guy. I was so miserable with all the workload and I had nobody to share how I feel, how my day went and small bullshit and stupid stuff. When I met him I felt happier than the feeling Columbus might have felt while he discovered America. I had met a lot of people in my life with whom I could not be honest, but I could be brutally honest with him and I wanted the same from him. I guess he knew that.

Days passed like that and I began to like him more but I was not sure though. At some point, I felt that he was just a guy who will sleep around and not be serious about it or hang with girls and don't care. I took him as a person who would listen to me whatever I have to say and not react. One fine Saturday, after he came from work, I was a little bit tipsy and a little bit more unhappy. I don't know why I am a very sad and introvert kind of person. I fear to share secrets with people but once I trust I start saying them...guess not all of them though. So I told him, I wanted a
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person to share a drink with. He doesn't drink but he came immediately, I was just joking so I did not know how to react to his arrival. I do not let people inside my room, besides girls I shared my past room with. In fact, I never shared my room with a guy or especially in this new placed I moved in, I never let anyone enter. We talked outside for a while, he kept on saying he has to go but he did not go, then I was tipsier, he came to my room then at some point I felt like I want to touch this man. I want to feel how a human touch feels like. It had been more than 7 months since I was touched by a human. I think I am sounding a little bit pathetic person by now. I placed my hands around his shoulder, he touched me in my thigh, I had no idea what that touch means, but I was happy to feel like a human. For the last few months, due to all the work stress or work, I had been emotionless. The more I smile outside, the lonelier I am inside. But not all can discover this truth. Continue...
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