I love you but you don't.

An event that happened in my life that changed me.

I love you but you only like me as a friend and I fear if I keep tying I’ll get badly rejected so I try to hide my feelings from you but you just make me feel so alive. You make me feel every breathe I take even in bad times. Your always there for me your someone I can go to if I need to talk, your someone I know will never leave . . . at least I hope so. When I talk to you, I feel as if a part of me lights up and becomes alive as if it hasn’t been before. I feel as if I get too attached to you it will end badly, I’ve seen you go through rough times and easy times, sad and happy times, and I’ve also seen you go from one relationship to another and I have watched them all end in heartbreak and sadness well at least most of them. Even though I’ve only known you for a year or less I feel as if it’s been longer, I feel as if we connect somehow or in some way. But one of the most challenging times I've seen you go through is friendship, I’ve seen you be mad at friends one day then the next day

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you both act as if it never happened which can be both good and bad at times. Although we ourselves have gone through bad times, one of the ones I will never forget is when you let two of our friends influence you into dating me as a joke, at first I thought I was a joke but then you made me believe that it wasn’t. As you led me deeper into your joke making me think it was real, I started to fall in love with you I started to develop feelings for you. And then you said it “I love you” the words I thought I’d never hear you say well not to me at least I thought to myself how could someone as amazing as nice as popular as handsome as kind as you fall for me, someone as ugly as annoying and as weird as me. I thought to myself again ‘is this a joke’ ‘is he trying to lead me to heartbreak’ but no I for some reason still believed you. But the very next day you say the words I believed you would never say ‘ So I’m breaking up with you it was a joke’ it felt like a knife had just been stabbed

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through your chest, I felt so betrayed and upset. I then found out the two friends that had influenced him to do it and to my surprise they were two of my friends that knew I liked him. But for some reason I didn’t feel sad I didn’t feel upset I didn't feel angry I just didn’t feel anything, I froze I sat there staring at my phone I knew this was going to happen, I knew he was too good for me. Right then and there I lost all trust with everyone even close friends and even family. A week or two passed and we continued to still be friends and still talk occasionally, but I still wanted to know why he did it, so I asked him. He replied and said something along the lines of ‘I was just trying to fit in and be cool’ I replied with something along the lines of ‘it’s not okay to treat a girl like that, we are not toy’s for you to play with’ at the end of that conversation he ended up saying he was sorry. A couple days later I decided he needed to stop listening to his friends and stop letting

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them tell him what to do so I told him “grow up you are your own person and you need to stop letting others tell you or influence you into doing stuff they want you to do especially when it’s going to hurt someone.” He listened to it and did what I told him to do. Now in the present time I still like him even though he has hurt me and damaged me he is still kind and caring and he’s also there when I need someone to talk to. But it starts to become complicated because I have feelings for him but he doesn’t have feelings for me, and I’ve recently found out someone likes me but I don’t want to reject them and make them upset, but then again I don’t like them. It just becomes confusing and sometimes I just need life to slow down a bit so I can catch up again.

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Genres:

Drama

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