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Book written by Arena_H

My Unfortunate Experience With Love

A story and a lesson.

     
Hello. This is my millionth writing attempt. It is going well so far. I think. Or rather hope. Anyway, let us begin. The current date is Tuesday, match 24, 2020. The coronavirus has caused home isolation all through the globe. For me, my school district issued all of its students to go to school form home using online selections to teach. I have no major problems with it so far. It is a fine way to teach. However, all of this time at home is making me relive one of the worst moments in my life. Particularly, January first. The day my first serious (and long-distance) boyfriend went poof on me or rather stated that he was going to. I remember how fast my heart thudded deep within my chest cavity and how hard it was to keep my tears at bay with both my parents present. Not to mention I was in a store while all this was happening. I grabbed all the clothes I could find and ran for the dressing room. Once inside the room, I broke. I sobbed so hard my head hurt. The last text I had sent him
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had been multiple pages, romantic, and lovey-dovey one wishing him a happy new year. I got no response from that by the way. All I got was, “Thank you so much for that. Honestly it means so much to me. I need to talk to you through whenever you have the chance,” This was the text I got while in the middle of shopping with my parents. The in-love, naive, girlfriend I was, I dropped everything and asked him what was wrong and if he was okay. His response was, “No need to be sorry and no I'm not okay. Something has happened. Something not good at all and I need to step away for awhile to fix it. I’m sorry if that seems vague but I just can’t bring myself to even talk about it since I don't want to involve you. It wouldn't be fair at all. Arena you are someone who deserves everything good in this world and I'm not something good now. You have to trust me. Its just best to keep away,” This. This text right here was the first crack in my sanity and heart. I remember so vividly, I was shaking
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as I ran into the designer bag aisle to hide from my parents as I began to furiously type not even bothering to read what I was typing. I spilled my worries and panic to him. Not even making much sense as I read it now. I forgot all about myself and just kept telling him to breathe and if I couldn't help him, he should find someone else to help him deal with whatever had happened so he wouldn't be alone. I‌ saw how insane I sounded over my first text and quickly typed another one reminding him of his promise to me, to stay safe and to take care of himself and most importantly; to keep out of danger. I apologized but did include I was freaking out. I‌ frantically asked how long awhile was going to be. With more anxiety in me than ever before, I waited for his text back as I tried to act normal looking through clothes. I was shaking so violently and couldn't remember how to breathe. His response came and I went cold, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to freak you out. I don’t know how long awhile
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will be but I don’t want you to worry,” This is where the reality of this hit me. I was going to lose my best friend, my heart, and most importantly my soulmate. I never even believed in soulmates until I met him. He was everything to me, we talked every day with endless conversations all over several paragraphs long. I had been more open with him than anyone else. We had shared so much. Too much. And as I briskly walked to the dressing room it all replayed for me. I typed in my reply, my eyes foggy from the tears. “I know. Well sorry I already am. I’m sorry to pry but are you sure it’s something we can’t talk about?” Whenever we had serious conversations like this we both acted differently than the carefree and happy way we usually did and it unsettled me. His response came minutes after, “I’m being accused of something really bad,” My tears paused, my heart stopped, and my chest tightened. I took a breathe and forced myself to calm down. All my concerns had gone to him. His safety
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